Zombie Survival Skills

Have you ever eye-rolled so hard you caused yourself to have a stroke? No? Do you want to? Then read on because this is ridiculous.

Television is ruining the Western world. Shows like “The Walking Dead”, “Z Nation”, and “In the Flesh” are making everyone hyper-aware of the impending existence of zombies. Deep down inside there’s a deep seated knowledge that, eventually, probably within our lifetime, the increasing amounts of toxic chemicals infecting our waters and soil (at least in the USA, anyway) will undoubtedly result in the reanimation of the rotting fleshbags snuggly nestled 6-feet- under. And when they finally breach the surface – they will be hungry for the delicious, delicious goo that lies within all of us.

In Manchester UK – it seems as though the citizens are all-too ready for the impending doom. According to an article published via Cinemablend, when some unsuspecting (or very suspecting) citizens spotted what appeared to be a man attempting to devour a woman they did what anybody would do. They called the local authorities and reported the incident.

When police went to investigate they found NOT the deranged activities of a dangerous drug addict NOR the early beginnings of the impending zombie apocalypse (which we could probably use right now with the state of things. One day a cleansing rain will come.) but extras (and zombie enthusiasts) Steve Lowe and Diane Holden who were filming a zombie-themed sitcom, “Dead Town” on-location nearby.

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According to a report from the BBC, the police officer burst out laughing after pulling over their vehicle and getting a look inside.

While yes, it’s completely understandable and wise to get the authorities involved regardless of zombies or an actual violent crime, one cannot help but to roll their eyes at the general absurdity of it all. No charges were assigned to the zombie couple and the police on duty got a good chuckle out of it all.

We’re sad to report though that while pulling over a carload of zombies, authorities failed to respond to 4 domestic disturbances, 3 traffic accidents, 14 murders, a robbery, and one report of jaywalking.

Not really; nobody was harmed.

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However it’s good to know that in the event of an actual zombie apocalypse a concerned citizen or two will make a point to call the authorities before things become too catastrophic and snuff out the problem before it grows. Ain’t nobody got time for zombies. For those of you eager to get your undead fix without the real world danger, feel free to revisit “The Walking Dead’s” 6th Season on Netflix and catch the Season 7 premiere on October 23 rd . To find out what all the panic was about, be sure to check out the first episode of “Dead Town”, “Road to Nowhere”, on YouTube.

Feel free to follow and insult Ian Donegan on Twitter @ianjdonegan where he’ll post about all of his fears and insecurities, of which there are many.

Source: Cinemablend

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